Tomorrow you will be six weeks old. This fact makes my mind want to explode. It absolutely doesn't seem possible that you have already been here so long. It so many ways it still feels like yesterday and you still seem so tiny and new. But, I guess, in other ways I can see the passage of time. You are definitely bigger and don't fit so well it your itsy-bitsy newborn onsies. I no longer time your feedings neurotically- I have visible proof you are growing and thriving. i can change your diaper quickly and you have less pee-all-over-the-changing-table-and-yourself accidents. I no longer cry everyday like those first two weeks. So, yes, 6 weeks have passed.
I love being your mommy and getting to stay at home with you. Some days I feel so accomplished- you nap like a champ, i do laundry! dishes! sweeping! cooking! Other days my biggest accomplishment feels like watching multiple episodes of Cake Boss while rocking you to sleep on the sofa.
My favorite time of day with you is when you first wake up. Sometimes it's earlier than I feel ready for, but other times I am amazed by how late you get up. Regardless, when I open my eyes and see your big blue eyes searching the room or your cute little wrinkly forehead as you stretch out your arms and legs, my heart feels so full of love for you, my little chicken. You make so many faces in the morning- you purse your lips, share a quick smile, furrow your brow in concentration- and I am always torn between grabbing a camera to capture the moment and simply soaking up your adorableness.
Some days all I want to do is take you all in. I can stare at your little toes for hours- as you curl them, stretch them out, appear to use them as fingers as you grasp at your swing. And did you know you have toe jam? That sounds gross, but you are a newborn so it's cute to me and how is that even possible? You don't walk yet! I also examine your face and all its dainty features. You have the cutest button nose. You get it from my side of the family, which makes me happy. You have amazingly blue eyes. Almost every time I look into them, I think of my sister. I wonder if your eyes will stay blue. Your lips are perfectly full and wonderfully shaped. You have soft brown hair, which I love.
I can't wait to get to know your personality more. So far, you seem curious, strong (maybe a bit stubborn?!) and serious. You fight sleep like its your job. You don't want to miss anything, even when you seem so tired it hurts. You love to explore your surroundings. You stare at windows, light streaming through them, patterns in the ceiling. You have a particular affection for two rectangular, black frames in our bedroom. Your eyes and serious expression tell those around you that you are busy learning.
Meredith, being your mommy is a blessing. Motherhood, in these last six weeks, has been a rollercoaster adventure. Some of the highest highs I've ever experience. It has not been without its challenges, either. All of it has been incredible to experience and I am so glad you are here, on the outside to make us a family of three.
Love to you, my sweet little baby,