I started 2011 thrilled to be a mom, but tired, lonely and sad. I have so many bittersweet memories from January and February. I was so, so happy to be watching my baby girl learn- sitting, crawling, giggling and playing her in her jumperoo but so many of those memories are tinged with sadness. I felt isolated and I felt trapped inside, literally, because of the mounds of snow and sheets of ice. I remember many tear-filled calls to my mom, feeling like I was trying so hard to make new mom friends and feeling like I was failing. Many of my friends with babies were headed back to work and others felt equally trapped at home because of the weather.
As the snow melted, my heart warmed and felt more happy. We got out. We went on day trips. We took an overnight trip. We celebrated the milestones of our baby's growth.
In May we celebrated my first Mother's Day and I remember feeling like a weight had been lifted from me. I had survived nearly a year as a mama. It had been hard and exhausting, but I had done it and I was (and am) so much better for it. I think as a mom it's easy to feel like the little things you do go unnoticed and that day I felt appreciated. It was perfect timing.
June was an amazing month. Chris celebrated his first Father's Day. Meredith turned one! We went on an amazing vacation to Bar Harbor, Maine.
July treated us to another great vacation on Martha's Vineyard. And also? Meredith weaned herself and started sleeping though the night (finally!).
August took us to Cape Cod and New York City. Right at the end of August, life's tectonic plates started shifting ever so slightly in preparation of a huge life change.
In September we took a whirlwind trip to the San Francisco bay area which would lead us to make a big decision to move across the country.
October was full of packing and goodbyes as we set off on a new adventure in California on the 30th.
November was full of unpacking, settling in and many hellos as we attempted to make new friends. We celebrated our first California Thanksgiving with my family and relished in the wonderful weather.
December was festive and exciting. By the end I felt spent. Drained from so many conversations with new friends and putting myself out there much more than normal. Grateful for all the people I've met, but tired, we set off for Texas where I've napped every day and savored time with my family in a quiet little town.
We will ring in the new year here, feeling rested and rejuvenated and ready for the new friends, challenges and exciting things 2012 will bring.
Hooray for 2012. I feel much more emotionally healthy. I am so in love with my husband and daughter. I have the prospect of many new friends. I am blessed more than any girl could ever deserve.