A Year Later: Silhouette *updated

Do you remember these photos? Well, earlier in the week we attempted to re-create them. I'm really happy with how they turned out, even though they aren't the exact same lighting. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, it's amazing how much life changes in a year.

Have a lovely weekend.

A Year Ago: Silhouette

A year ago, less than 72 hours before our baby entered the world, we went on a walk. The sun was setting, I was swelling and we were both so excited. We were at that point when baby could come at any point and I knew in my heart it wouldn't be much longer. I cherish these photos.

A Year Ago: Baby prep & puffiness

A Year Ago: Reading with my Belly

I think this second photo is my favorite picture of me pregnant. I have a couple others that I'll share in a couple of weeks that come close, but for some reason I just love this picture.

This day stands out among lots of other pregnant days. I was done with school. I finally had time to just read, go on walks and prepare the house for baby's arrival. I made my way to Harvard Square to meet Chris after work. After arriving early, I cozied myself (as best a 9 month pregnant person gets cozied) and enjoyed reading The Help. Once Chris was done with work, we ate dinner at Border Cafe where I enjoyed a spicy vegetable jambalaya. I remember wondering if it would kick start labor as it had for my friend just two weeks before. We were at the point where we felt compelled to discuss everything as potentially the last time before baby. I loved it. I loved being the two of us and I was so excited for it to be the three of us. And 17 days later it was.

A Year Ago.

A year ago today we went on a walk. It was a beautiful walk on a trail I had never before visited. The air was cool and crisp. The leaves were loosing their color and falling to the ground. But what I remember most? Excitement. Excitement to my innermost being making me want to burst with happiness. A baby was on its way. A girl? A boy? What would he/she be like? What will be like as parents? What do we like about our own parents' parenting styles? What will we name this baby? All of these things and more we discussed that day. We decided that day to wait and tell the baby's name until he/she was born. We decided that day not to even bother discussing names until we found out if this baby was a boy or a girl. We decided we liked names that weren't easily nicknamed. We found out we didn't like a lot of the same names, but we also knew we'd find one eventually. So much for not talking about it until February.

We've been on many, many walks since getting married. Some of them long since lost in my memory, lacking anything sparkling to keep it fresh in my mind. But this walk? I'm not sure I will ever forget it.

Amazing what year does.

(unacceptably disgusting pee stick picture. I KNOW. my computer destroyed all the non-gross ones)

A year ago today, we found out little Meredith was on her way to us. I woke up, bleary-eyed, in the dark at 5am to get ready for work. I had prematurely taken a pregnancy test over the weekend only to get a negative result. I forced myself to wait a few days, and decided I would take one Wednesday morning. I took it. And then, I couldn't tell what the pee stick was telling me. I think I saw a faint line. But, there was a chance my mind was playing tricks on me. It was 5 am, after all. So much for surprising Chris in some cute way. I snuck into the bedroom (goodness knows he wasn't up yet) and asked him to get up and read the test. We both were pretty sure there was a faint line (see how its hard to tell in the picture??). We kind of/sort of celebrated and decided I'd leave school during my lunch break and try again. Thinking back now, I'm not sure why I didn't just cancel my carpool and go with Chris to the Walgreen's down the street. Must have been trying to play it cool.

I spent the morning giddy, thinking perhaps I really was pregnant. I shot out of school during my lunch break, grabbed the pregnancy test actually says, "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant" and headed over to Starbucks. I went into the Starbucks bathroom and was feeling so nervous. Mostly? Because I had an irrational fear that someone knew what I was doing and that I was taking too long. I stashed the box and the test in my bag and jetted out of the bathroom. I ordered myself a drink (decaf, of course!). As I waited for my drink, I kept sneaking peaks into my bag. Finally, the results were in: pregnant!! I was so excited, but I was by myself, in a Starbucks, in the middle of the day. So, I calmly walked to my car and proceeded to try to call Chris and take more (less disgusting, but now vanished) pictures of my positive test! As I'm retelling this, all I can think is what a freak I was- who finds out they are pregnant in a Starbucks, alone, with the pee stick in their purse??

The rest of the school day, obviously, was a giddy blur. I tried to stay focused, but really, I was just bursting with excitement. Fortunately, we were headed to Atlanta for my best friend's wedding that night so I could play it off as excitement for that. Chris and I arrived at the airport early and treated ourselves to a delicious dinner at Legal Seafoods to celebrate (pictures from this also vanished). We were so excited and somewhat shell-shocked. It all happened so fast. It's amazing how much life has changed since the last time I woke up on October 21st. I am so glad it has!

Back to normal, but a new normal.

Pregnancy gave me an excuse to eat. And while I wouldn't say I ate a lot of extra food, I would say I ate a lot of crappy food. Like oreos, peanut butter by the spoonful, anything chocolate and there wasn't a dessert I'd say no to. And then, breastfeeding gave me an appetite like you wouldn't believe, so I continued eating lots of crappy food- probably even more! But that increased appetite has long since gone. So a few weeks ago I decided it was time to get serious about getting back in shape. Chris and I started the South Beach Diet (misery) and have had great results already (yay).

I am now down to my pre-pregnancy weight, and actually a little under. I am very encouraged. It almost makes it worth ending the oreo binges. My body, however, is not back to pre-pregnancy. Everyone tells you it will never be the same, but its hard to quite imagine until its happened. And it has! My stomach is a bit squisher (not that I ever had washboard abs), there are stretch marks that surely weren't there before and even my linea nigra (do not google this. yuck. its a line on your belly, starting at your belly button) is still hanging out.

So while my body is different, the cause of this change- my little baby Meredith- is oh, so worth it. And even though I'm not as toned, I feel proud of how my body is readjusting. The whole pregnancy & postpartum experience continues to amaze me.

Birth Story

Meredith Laurel was born on Monday, June 28th at 9:01 am after an intense, but short labor. Around 3:20 am I woke to a strange kick feeling in my belly. As I stood up to go to the bathroom, I realized that feeling was my water breaking. I called my midwife who told me to head right to the hospital because I was strep b positive and needed to get started on penicillin. She also said I'd need to get started on Pitocin since I wasn't having strong contractions. I was really disappointed by this news. My hope was to have a nonmedicated natural birth and I knew Pictocin could make the contractions really strong and fast.

Chris got in the shower after I got off the phone, I got some last minute things together and then showered after Chris. By the time I got out of the shower contractions had started and were about 3-4 minutes apart. While they weren't yet causing me to stop in my tracks, they were markedly different than all the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having throughout my pregnancy. Once we had gathered all our things, we got in the car and headed to the hospital. We were both feeling very excited and a little nervous. It was crazy to know we'd probably meet our baby by the end of the day. We prayed in the car together, asking God for safety, health, peace and calm through the labor.

We got to the hospital very quickly, around 4:30 am, and checked in at the Emergency Room (since it was after hours). We then headed up to Labor & Delivery where we were met by a very sweet nurse named Misha. We were able to go right into a birthing suite which I was happy about. As we settled in with our things and started to be monitored (for contractions and the baby's heartbeat) the contractions were definitely getting stronger. I was able to use hypnobirthing breathing to help keep me calm and get through them. After a while the midwife came in and checked me. I was already at 5 cm, which I was so grateful for. This made me more confident that I could make it without an epidural.

After I had been monitored long enough I got up to go to the bathroom. I think this was around 5:30 am. Almost immediately I threw up several times and then proceeded to the bathroom to get changed into a johnny. While in the bathroom the contractions started coming really close together and much harder. Breathing and leaning back against the wall helped me get through them calmly. I also stood, leaning against Chris, through a few.

I was then ready to head out to the room. I sat in a rocking chair for a bit, but I found it difficult to be comfortable through contractions there. I was most comfortable leaning against Chris, so that the lower part of my stomach could stretch out. At that point I thought it might be nice to get into child's pose. The nurse asked me at that point if she could monitor the baby's heartbeat while I laid on the bed, because getting the heartbeat in child's pose very difficult. I was fine with that. I laid on my side while she monitored the baby and had several very strong contractions.

As she was finishing with the monitor I had one contraction that felt much more intense and much different, ending with an urge to push (that large bowel movement feeling I had heard a lot about). The nurse noticed that my response to that contraction was much different and almost involuntary. She told me that it seemed like my labor was progressing very quickly and that she wanted the midwife to come back in and check me.

I tried to get into child's pose while we waited for the midwife, but the pressure to push was too much for this to be comfortable. The midwife came in then and told me I has dilated to 9 cm. Hallelujah! I was so happy I'd be able to follow my body's urge to push soon. I stayed laying on my side, breathing through each contraction. Soon after that the contractions were very strong and I was really needing to push. My midwife checked me again, confirming what we all could tell- I was fully dilated and free to push as my body told me. I believe this was around 7:15. This was also around the time that the nurse shift changed. I was sad to see Misha go, but fortunately got an equally amazing nurse named Katie. I will never forget either of them and what amazing support they were.

I really tried to stay calm and remember what I had learned with hypnobirthing- breathing down. This was remarkably helpful and kept me from being scared, tense or anxious. It also allowed me to get rest between each contraction. From this point on, its all a blur, except that I know each contraction got much more intense. While I kept breathing through each one, I did feel that I was truly pushing. Pushing was so intense, but knowing that I would be meeting my baby soon helped me get through it. My midwife eventually had me feel during a push that the baby's head was coming down. This was very encouraging. A couple of contractions later, they turned on the baby warmer, brought all the stuff over and my midwife got in position. I knew she'd be out soon!

I would say the last three or four contractions were super intense and I was determined to get her out. I have never put more physical effort into anything. I was pushing with absolutely every ounce of strength I had. Each contraction saw visible progress. Once the baby had crowned I was determined to get her out- the final push I pushed so hard and I was so grateful and shocked that her whole body came out and she was soon laying on my tummy! Meredith was born at 9:01 am!

The relief, joy and shock I felt is indescribable. I was so happy. My baby was born and perfectly healthy. Chris and I were able spend two hours cooing, cuddling and falling in love with our little baby before she headed off to the nursery.

Meredith's birth was exactly what I had been hoping and praying for. It was quick, nonmedicated, calm and incredibly special.

on being a teacher

today two of my little girls, after watching me received a chocolate truffle from one of the older students in our school, declared my job as the best. why?

"teachers get treats"
"teachers know a lot math"
"teachers don't have to wear the school uniform"
"teachers are bigger than us"
"teachers have big brains"
"teachers get to tell us whatever they want"
"teachers have girl private parts... like on your chest"

true, teaching is great. never thought of boobs as an extra perk to the job. that's more like an extra perk of pregnancy. pun intended?

Pregnancy: A Kindergarten Perspective

Teaching Kindergarteners while pregnant is both a joy and a lesson in thick skin. The children's favorite thing to ask me currently is, "When are you going to get fat? (emphasis theirs)"

This week my stomach is really beginning to grow (nothing huge, but no longer flat!). This morning several of them remarked right away about how much my tummy is growing. I'm glad that I'm glad it's growing because otherwise I might be self-conscious or hurt. What they really like to tell me is that they wish I was having anywhere between 5 and 100,000 babies so my stomach would fill the entire school. I kid you not. They say that to me almost daily.

I suppose because my tummy was more noticeable today, they all converged around my belly trying to listen to it. They are really fascinated with listening to my stomach, regardless of how many times I tell them there's nothing to hear. The baby is too small and anyway, can you ever hear anything? I'm guessing not. I did play the baby's heartbeat for them, which they loved.

My favorite comment came from one of my wild cuties today. We were talking about growing bellies and he said to me, "Oh, gosh, I'm so glad I'm a boy. I would not want a baby coming out of my stomach!"

A Year in Pictures

We rang in 2010 as a family, at a delicious french restaurant on Newbury St.

February took me to NYC with my mom. We got to see a taping of The View as well as see The Little Mermaid & Wicked on Broadway.


March saw my cousin get married in Shreveport, Louisiana. It was a special weekend filled with family I hadn't seen in way too long.
In April we got new furniture and as a result a bigger feeling apartment. Hooray!

Chris graduated in May! Hip-hip-hooray!In June, Chris and I went on a whale watch with my parents. Very cool experience.

As my parents moved away at the end of June, Chris and I made a week long getaway to Martha's Vineyard. It was one of the best week's of our lives. We slept, lounged and ate.


Also in July we ventured north to Burlington, VT for the Vermont Brewer's Festival. We had the company of good friends and the taste of yummy beer.





At the very end of July I went to visit my parents in their new home, Abilene, TX.


In August, we enjoyed a camping trip in NH with Chris's family and some other good friends.

During the last weekend of August, we journeyed out to Tanglewood to see James Taylor perform. It was a magical experience. I'm hoping baby Traganos will be up for the show next summer.


September saw the start of another school year. A bigger, louder class but still just as cute.


At the end of September I said good-bye to birth control.
On a beautiful October day, I ran my first 10K with my mother-in-law!Also in October, a big, fat positive pregnancy test :)

Days after finding out we are going to have a baby, I got to see my oldest friend get married.

I have very few, if any, pictures of November. This is plain and simply because November was the month of morning sickness and crazy fatigue. We did very, very little.

December was a welcome time with family down here in Abilene. The perfect way to end a very interesting year.

A Thankful Thanksgiving

There is so much to be thankful for this year, as with every year. This year it just feels especially important to list some things I am thankful for.

1- The baby growing inside me. Not a day goes by that I don't feel overwhelmed by God's generosity with this blessing.

2-My husband who treats me like a princess everyday, even when I definitely don't deserve it. I could talk forever about my gratitude for him and it still wouldn't be adequate.

3- My health. Its something easy to take for granted, but I feel more in tune with the blessing it is with this pregnancy. I got pregnant easily. I rarely get sick. I spend minimal time visiting doctors. I have a fear of needles which in itself reveals how rarely I am in need of a needle to give me medicine or take my blood. I am grateful for my health.

4- My family and their health. They are far away now, which I hate, but they are still just a phone call away. I can talk to them, skype with them and facebook them whenever I feel compelled.

5- A car that works. Just a year ago we bought our new car. It has been heavenly to only deal with the car for filling it up with gas and getting the oil changed. I haven't missed our old, crappy Hyuandai once.

6- A place to live. Our apartment is little. After nearly three years living there it sometimes feels tiny, but it is our home. Our first home together. I am grateful for all the meals we've shared in the kitchen, the cuddles in our bedroom and movies & chats in the living room.

7- Abc.com. We have chosen not to have cable and I am grateful. But, I like three shows: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and Brothers & Sisters. I'm glad I can still watch those for free :)

8- Having a job. I moan and groan about my job a lot, but really, it is a joy to work with children each day. I am also grateful that the pay cut we were supposed to get before Christmas is going to be held off until the new year.

9- The hope of being a stay at home mom next year. I am thankful for my job experience thus far, but the chance to be a mom as my job feels like my calling. I am so grateful for the chance and for my husband being so supportive.

There are so many, many more. Those are just the big ones.

Thanksgiving Break.

It has arrived, ushered in with my first actual puke of pregnancy (tmi, i know). Despite it's start, I am welcoming it with open arms.

My main goal:sleep.

My second goal:
being lazy (and christmas-y!)

other goals:
make a scrumptious pumpkin pie
decorate our home for christmas (not until friday, don't worry)
see a couple movies (new moon, the blind side)
work a bit more on my crochet blanket

Happy Thanksgiving!!

9 weeks.

Today I am 9 weeks. When I first found out I was pregnant I felt like time would move in slow motion. And while morning sickness makes certain moments feel like an eternity, overall it has flown by. I can't believe I will have known about our baby for 5 weeks tomorrow. It's amazing how quickly life can change. I know life only has more changes to bring our way, especially once our little one has actually been born, but changes are already evident.

Life has rapidly changed pace. We have spent the weekends since we found out sleeping amazing amounts. We do dramatically less than we used to. And I love it. Every minute. Chris has become an even more amazing care taker of me than he was before. He is always ready to get me ginger ale, crackers or a blanket. He doesn't get annoyed when at 3 on a Saturday afternoon I'm ready for my second nap of the day (after waking up at 9...). He smiles and kisses me goodnight when I consistently go to bed before 8 pm (the record is 6:45 last Thursday). The way he takes care of me tells me he is going to be a truly amazing father. The changes taking place are so very welcome and exciting.
The only change I'm ready to see pass is morning sickness. I really try not to complain because while its unpleasant it is oh-so-worth-it. I can't say I have had it horribly bad (no throwing up yet). It is generally mild, but lasts all day. I have had very little appetite and have trouble finding something that sounds appealing. And as far as the kitchen goes, I think I've cooked only two meals in last two weeks. Yikes! So, while I'm trying not to wish for my pregnancy to just fly by, I will not be sad when this phase is over.

The baby itself is making rapid changes. This week it is nearly an inch long and about the size of a grape. It's eyes are fully formed and are covered by eyelids that will be fused until week 27. This week the heart finishes dividing into four chambers (so i can hear it next week!!) and tiny little teeth start to form (seriously, this kills me). So amazing.