three months.

Dear Mattias,
Today you are three months old. Except for the fact that you are giant baby, this doesn't seem at all possible. But alas, it is.  You are three months old. And baby, you've made these three months so great. So much better than I thought possible.

Simply put? You are an easy baby. You hang out in your bouncy seat or swing when you're awake. You eat like a champ. You sleep. Oh, you sleep. So much better than  your sister. I've done a few things differently this time around (like not shoot out of bed the second you make the slightest sound) but mostly, I think it's just you. You are chill. You sleep when you're tired. You eat when you're hungry. And otherwise, you're happy to just hang out. You do have trouble falling asleep for the night. It can often be an hour (or two) (or three) of repeatedly going back to rock you or pat your bum, but really, that feels like nothing compared to how easy going you are the rest of the day.



You are already a sweet little brother. You are half terrified, half madly in love with your sister. She loves you. She really does. And sometimes she shows you that with hugs and kisses and cuddles. Other times, she shows you that by piling shoes on top of your head or chucking toys at you. In any case, she means well and it seems you know that. I can't wait until you two can really play together. I hope you'll be the best of friends.

My favorite thing about you so far is your smile. Baby boy, you light up like a million twinkle lights when you smile. When you smile, you smile with your whole face, your whole body. Your eyes twinkle. Your cheeks swell. Your arms squish up under your chin. You are a happy boy and anyone that can see you, can see that. I wanted to think I was above needing to see you smile. That I could give tirelessly without getting anything back, but I'm not. Being on the receiving end of your smiles has made all the difference. You give them freely- in the middle of the night, during diaper changes, abruptly, after a tear-filled cry- and I accept them gratefully. They have bonded me to you, sweet boy.

Mattias, I am so happy you are here and that you are part of our family. We feel so complete. Maybe one day we'll add to our family (but maybe not), but for now, you have made us whole.

I love you, precious boy.