Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The golden witching hour.

I watched as the house I had cleaned all day was slowly getting messier as plastic food and kitchen utensils were strewn about.
A jar of baby food fell and shattered on the floor.

I wanted to prep dinner but the baby needed holding.

The baby bit me so hard I wanted to cry.

The clock seemed to be taunting me with the slow passage of time until daddy walked through the door.

So out the door we went. Out to the front stoop for bubbles and blankets and my favorite time of day for light.

Suddenly, we were all ok.

The baby ate dirt. The toddler blew bubbles. Mama took pictures and breathed in the fresh air, letting go of prepped-dinner, clean-house expectations.

One of the hardest lessons of motherhood is flexibility and letting go of how I want things to be. Sometimes I hold on with all my might to my own image of how things should be- tidy house, dinner on the table when Chris gets home- to the detriment of everyone involved. I will force it and leave everyone in my tracks, including myself, grumpy and foul tempered.

But other times, like tonight, I can turn on some music, open the front door and know that those things don't actually matter.  I'm not foolish enough to think that I conquered anything tonight, but I am learning that it helps to take note of small victories in this battle riddled journey of motherhood.


5 comments:

Adrienne said...

This trip out the front door was worth it for that picture of the stud muffin letting us know how dirt tastes. In case we were wondering. And I think these victories are, perhaps, bigger than you can imagine!

Rachael said...

So good. I know this will be the toughest part of having 2 for me. And I always imagine that Joe cares, and will notice, but he rarely does. He just wants me in a cheerful mood--usually lost at the sake of frantic straightening! Thanks for sharing.

colleen said...

his little dirt face - so cute! this is so important to remember for so many things in life...it's ok for everything not be perfect when at the end of the day everyone is still happy and healthy.

Michelle {lovely little things} said...

Meredith looks so grown up!

humphrezio said...

Going outside helps so much! Love that stud muffin onesie...one of the few things I actually bought for Noah :)

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