Once upon a time

 

Today, as I picked Mickey Mouse up off the floor and rolled Meredith's toy stroller to a little corner parking spot, as I mopped up yogurt during naptime and watched my newborn's rising and falling chest, I was struck by how different life is now than it once was.

Once upon a time, when I was tired, it was because I had stayed out late having dinner, seeing a movie, spending time with my husband. Not because I had spent hours rocking a wide-eyed, overtired newborn. Once upon a time, if I was sweaty, it was because I had gone for a run or been on a hike. Not because I had held and nursed a tiny, hot-bodied baby all day long. Once upon a time the only shoes I picked up off the floor were adult sized. Now they are little and full of sand.

There was once a time that the rice I cooked ended up either in bellies or tupperware as leftovers. Now, it falls on the floor trailing a certain toddler. There was once a time that I did laundry every couple of weeks, lugging it across the street to the laundromat. Now, it happens almost daily or else the house would smell of spit up and baby poo. There was once a time that I slept in on Saturdays. Now, I wake early everyday to the sound of baby grunts and a toddler greeting her baby brother.

Once upon a time, I wasn't a mother. Those were really good times. Times when I was a wife and a teacher and a friend and a daughter and a sister. But now, I am a mother and life is so rich.

Rollercoaster.

I've decided that being a mother of two is like riding a roller coaster. I suppose being a mother of any number of children at any age feels that way. I've just noticed it more since having two. The good moments are so good. The bad moments are really overwhelming. But fortunately, it's all over before any permanent damage has been caused. This image has helped me as I've adjusted to having two children. Anytime I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that this too shall pass, or that this is just a brief moment in the big scheme of things. It's helped.

I actually have to say that we've had pretty smooth sailing, all things considered, so far. Our adjustment to being a family of four is going well, in large part due to all the help we've received from family. Today, though, felt like a roller coaster. More lows than highs, but I made a conscious effort to capture some of the good moments in keeping with this post.

 

pumpkin patch.

This weekend we adventured to a pumpkin patch. Original, huh? I bet you did, too.

We braved the traffic into Half Moon Bay, passing the gimmicky, bouncy house littered patches and smiled contentedly as we pulled into a no-frills field filled with pumpkins. The name matching its simplicity: Bob's. Meredith ran about, throwing pumpkins to and fro when she could sneak it. We snapped photos. I fed the baby. We appreciated the cool breeze and ocean view. We got 5 pumpkins for ten dollars.

To me, there's not much on this world as magical as New England in the fall. And while this was certainly no match for a drive out Route 2, ending at an apple orchard with cider donuts, it was good. I was with my family and California has plenty of its own beauty to offer.

Graffiti Artist

We've got a graffiti artist in the house. Fortunately her medium of choice is chalk.

the first day.

Today was my first full day with both kiddos. I did a nearly full day last week, but today was a more accurate glimpse at our new normal. I was nervous, but I have to say, we had a really great day. I threw dinner in the crock pot. We went to the post office and library storytime. We all ate lunch. We all took a nap. We went to the park.

When Chris met us at the park after work, it felt so nice to still have some energy and sanity left. Meredith and Mattias took it easy on me today and for that I am grateful. And now Chris's mom comes tomorrow so I don't have a solo day again until next week. Feeling pretty spoiled!

blessed.

Last week I took Mattias for a well-check. As I pulled into the parking lot a tall, very attractive woman with stiletto heels and a black skirt suit. I fleetingly had a thought that she had it all together and I was feeling slightly frumpy and squishy around the edges. Once I parked, I looked over at her as she climbed into her car and I noticed she was crying. Immediately my heart sunk. Leaving the doctor's office in tears isn't usually a good thing. I wondered what news she just received and said a prayer for her health and comfort.

I obviously don't know that woman's story, but it gave me a moment's pause. A pause long enough to be reminded how much I have to be thankful for. When you're young, it's easy to take health for granted. But that moment in the parking lot left me feeling deeply grateful for my health, for my husband's health and for the health of our two babies.