Monday, February 2, 2009


Disclaimer: I know this is a bit long-winded and slightly melo-dramatic. Its a journey and this is my place to process.

So, 25 Random Facts about Myself is going around facebook like wild fire. I've been tagged a few times and have read a lot of people's lists. I find them very interesting, but haven't done one myself. I've been thinking about various things I might want to add and tonight I was thinking about Atlanta & Boston. One of my facts about myself would be that I still miss living in Atlanta. I sometimes wish I hadn't left Atlanta ( but then I wouldn't have met Chris, etc etc). Sometimes I really do wish I hadn't left Atlanta even though I am eternally grateful to have met my husband. I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else!

Having moved at the age of 17 has left me with a strange sense of identity. I moved not by choice, like trying out a new city for college. Instead, I moved my junior year of high school and graduated from a school I did not feel a part of. I was a stranger there, but Roswell was a thing of the past. I can't return to Roswell for high school reunions, but I have no interest in returning to Belmont for one either.

Even after having lived in Boston for seven and half years (wow), I still don't feel at home on an emotional level. In some ways, I do. I love the city. I think its a beautiful place to live. I love having four distinct and wonderful seasons. I like the small towns and cute town centers. I love that families live near one another.

But still, I don't identify myself as from Boston. The friendships I treasure most, worked hardest for and which hold the most memories are not here. Of course, distance can make one paint things in a much better light. I know I had some very hard times in Roswell and I felt lonely a lot of the time. But, I also have a few friends still there that I feel so comfortable with it almost feels effortless.

It's hard sometimes because I know I treasure my memories of being a teenager in Roswell, while many of those who I have shared these memories with have moved on. This is only natural- they lost only one friend while I lost all of mine. I have found myself on a number of occasions talking with someone from my past who talks to me like I don't know anything about Atlanta. They say things like, "In Atlanta, where we live..." or "We live in such-in-such, which is near..." While I know these people mean nothing by it I know exactly what or where they are talking about. I was 17 when I moved, not 7! And so in those moments I feel sad because life does keep moving quickly by and so do people.

I have to be more committed to my home here. Chris and I have really been making concerted efforts to think about others and be giving of ourselves. This is certainly worth it and shows fruit quickly. I am grateful God has put me where I am, particularly for who He is allowing me to spend my life with. I might miss Atlanta forever, but I know that there are many more memories to be made and friendships to form.

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