So... I hate to complain about lack of sleep. It comes with the territory of having a new baby. Nights of sound sleep and sleeping in late are a thing of the past (at least for a long while!)- that's a given. But today, I think I need to use this space to vent for a moment. Last night was a rough one. Sometimes we have good nights and I wake up in such a good mood feeling refreshed. Others, like last night, feel like a constant time of wakefulness and when Meredith wakes up for the day it feels near impossible to drag myself out of bed.
Last night, I put Meredith to bed around 7:15. She was very tired, but as soon as I laid her down she started fussing. She didn't fall asleep for another half hour or so. Then, as is her habit, she woke up about an hour later and fussed some more. She was asleep by 9:15. I went to bed around 10. She woke up at 11. Hoping to hold her off from a feeding, I just went in a gave her back the pacifier. After a couple times giving back the paci, it worked, thank goodness. As I was waiting to be sure she was back to sleep I laid down on the couch in her room and proceeded to fall fast asleep until 12:30 or so when she woke up to eat. I fed her and was finally back in my room by 1:15.
Cut to 3:00 when she was crying again. Too soon for her to eat again! She usually just does every 4 hours. I tried for 30 minutes to get her to go back to sleep and finally gave in and fed her at 3:30. I feed her laying down on the couch. This is so nice because I can rest my eyes while she eats. Last night, again, I fell asleep. This doesn't usually happen. So, it wasn't until 5:30 that I realized I was still on the couch with her in my arms. I put her back in her crib, crawled back into my warm bed for a whopping 30 seconds before she was crying again.
This time I asked Chris to go give her the paci. I was so cold and tired. He went in and instead of being soothed she started freaking out. At this point, it felt like I hadn't gotten any good sleep so I just asked him to bring her in, thinking she'd go right to sleep. Of course not! She fussed for about 30 minutes before falling asleep. I guess she slept for a while then- until about 7:30. At that point, though, between being up and down so many times and being sore from sleeping strangely on the couch, it didn't feel restful for me. 7:30 was painful this morning. Fortunately, she's taking a nap now.
I just don't understand all her night wakefulness. I'm trying to make sure she's getting enough sleep in the day and going to bed early enough to avoid overstimulation and overtiredness. I've tried swaddling, unswaddling and various sleeping positions. Nothing seems to do the trick. She seems big enough and old enough to be sleeping for longer stretches. Even on a good night the longest she goes lately is 5 hours (from 8 or 9pm to midnight or 1am). If you have advice, please share!
And, just to make myself feel better, I do have to end this post saying that I know motherhood is such a blessing and a dream come true. I don't want to complain, but today I was just feeling it!