Thursday, January 27, 2011


This is, at least, how I remember it.


I joined Facebook in the spring of my freshman year of college. Back then it was limited to just a handful of colleges. I remember checking, occasionally, the list of schools added, checking, occasionally, for my friends from childhood. One, in particular. It was a while until we became Facebook friends, but I was so glad to make the connection. It had been many years since we were last in contact and regret followed me throughout.

She became my best friend in 2nd grade. I remember vividly, peeking out the kitchen window of my new house, to the driveway down below and seeing her standing there. My new best friend. We had sleepovers, played house, rode the bus together, wore the (optional) school uniform.  We would walk home from the bus stop and talk for what felt like hours. We saw Titantic together, more than once. Best of friends. 

And then, 8th grade happened.  Middle school- I'm not sure there was a worse time of my life. Hormones were coursing through my moody body and I was growing tired of being unpopular. I'm not sure how conscious it was, but I started separating myself from my best friend and from others. Less friendly, less interested. Until suddenly, we weren't friends anymore. And then she went to a private school and moved away. I had severed one of the best relationships in my life and now, it seemed, reconciliation would be impossible.

Reconnecting on Facebook has been good and bad, for me. Good because I see she's happy. She has a beautiful husband and son.  Bad because we've grown up into two people I think would be very good friends. We both have babies. We both value our walks with God. We both treasure our families. We had something special and I botched it. Sure, there were extenuating circumstances that perpetuated the weakening of our friendship, but I'm the one that set it in motion. I'm glad to be reconnected with her, but in a way, it's a painful reminder of the poor decision my 12 year old self made.

 I'm linking up with Mama Kat today, writing in response to this prompt:

Social media is an amazing way to reunite with old friends. Describe a good or not-so-good experience you’ve had with it.

Head on over to read some other people's stories :)

 Mama's Losin' It


Kate (This Place is Now a Home) said...

This is a beautiful post! Sad, but beautifully written. You are not alone with those feelings of regret, and social media does add an extra layer of complication around building and rebuilding relationships.

Teresa said...

Nothing is impossible. It's never too late to build or rebuild relationships. Pray on it then move on. What is meant or not meant to happen will or won't in it's own time.

basebell6 said...

I had a best friend from 1st grade to 12th grade. Then she went to college, and we grew apart. I'm still not over the fact that I had her in my weddding and she didn't ask me to be in hers. Things happen I guess.

I agree with Teresa, connect with this girl again!! I have a friend from HS that I found on facebook whom I hadnt seen in 10 years. I found out she had moved back home from Florida and had a baby last summer too. We get together at least once a month now and it is neat to reconnect.

Anonymous said...

It's wonderful that you found her on Facebook. How about arranging a meeting? It's never too late to rekindle a friendship. Middle school is hard for most of us. I imagine those years were difficult for her as well. Who knows? She may feel that she played a part in the estrangement.

David McAnulty said...

I feel the same about my best friend Richard... can't believe I 'let him go' for so many years... but it's been great to be reconnected for the last several years. It's like we never skipped a bit. Friendship is an amazing (and resilient) gift! Very touching post. Thanks!

mrs.trent said...

Great post! I think we all have times (especially in middle school) where we do stupid things and let people drift from our lives. It's so easy sometimes to see how our lives could have turned out!

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