This past weekend I read two things that really brought together a few things I've been thinking a lot about recently. The first is this article about Mormon Mommy Bloggers. I'm not a Mormon, but find myself oddly fascinated by many blogs written by Mormons. More than once I've started following a blog only to find weeks later that the author is a Mormon. They really do paint a beautiful picture of what being a mom & wife is like. I love seeing their adorably decorated homes. I love reading about their fun family traditions. I love reading about how much they love their husbands. But it's a fine line between enjoying a glimpse into their lives and feeling guilty or inadequate. Will my house ever be so pretty? Will I ever be so clever at coming up cheap, cute DIY projects?
And then, Design Mom (a Mormon!) linked to this blog (another Mormon?) on Friday. The post is an extremely well-written, vulnerable glimpse at those challenging days we all have as moms.
For some reason these two pieces have helped me sort through some things I've been thinking about. One the one hand, I love being a mom. It is fun, it is rewarding.Watching my baby grow, and explore, and smile makes me feel so full of love and happiness.
On the other hand, it is exhausting- physically, mentally and emotionally. It really is the hardest job I've ever had, primarily because it never ends. You don't leave your work at the office; you can't. Some days I just feel sad and lonely. I love playing with Meredith, but I can sometimes miss adult interaction. I can feel overwhelmed by getting simple things done around the house like laundry, dishes and vacuuming.
So I'm not sure that there necessarily a point to these thoughts. Just that being a mom is a huge blessing, but it is also the hardest thing I've done. I don't want to feel trapped by presenting it as all flowers and sunshine. I also don't want to be overly negative because mostly, by far, it's good. My hope is that this blog will be an honest journal of my life as a mommy.
Thoughts?
5 comments:
you are right, being a mom isn't flowers and sunshine! somedays i count the minutes until 5 when my parents come home from work and i can go up there and they can entertain baby. or count days until hubby gets home from his business trips (2 weeks can go by SLOOOOOOW!!). i'll have to check out those blogs!
hi claire! obviously i am not a mom, but many of my friends are and i've all seen them cope with the pitfalls(?) of motherhood ... feeling smothered by it sometimes, really. you need to take the time to do things for you--date night, manicure, shopping trips with buds, seeing movies--ALONE or with hubby. designate a few hours for yourself one night a week to visit a bookstore or get coffee, whatever. it adds up! remember, no one's happy unless mom's happy ... and especially as meredith grows and becomes more autonomous, she will replicate your independence. =)
I'm sorry you sometimes feel lonely and i can understand that. While I am still home and not yet back to work lets take advantage. I am free most of tomorrow and Friday and up for whatever. let me know what your days look like.
Preach it, sister. I can totally relate - and there have been several days where I've guiltily been relieved to go to work, even though I don't particularly like my job, just because I was so frustrated with my mommyness that day. Or days when I practically ran to my mommy/baby group just to talk to others and compare problems and successes because it was a way to get interaction. This is totally the hardest job - your "employer" is counting on you for, oh, everything, so there's a lot of pressure to succeed and no real manual to learn from ... and it can be majorly isolating. But I know you're not alone, and I think you HAVE to give a truly accurate representation. It *is* great and wonderful and grand ... but not all the time :)
I loved reading that article you'd posted about Mormon mummy blogs. It's true that they're all flowery and happy, so will take a look at the other link you've posted.
Having said that, I love your blog because it's so honest, and yet so positive. I've never gotten the impression that you hide the bad bits - you mention things, but you're positive anyway. At least that's what I seem to pick up on. Which is lovely, because it's obvious that you love Meredith with every cell and you love being her mummy just as much - but you don't gloss over the fact that it's not easy, and I appreciate that all the more.
Big hugs xxx
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