What I know for sure.

What I know for sure is that being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. I know for sure that I haven't gotten a full night's sleep in over nine months and I am tired. I know for sure that my life has been irrevocably changed.

And this change? Is for the good.

I know for sure that I am able to love bigger. I am able to hug tighter. I am able to smile wider. I know for sure that life couldn't get much better.

And once you see the little face behind these crazy beautiful life changes, you'll see why.













I know for sure that every time I think I couldn't possibly love this little baby any more, she goes and does something cute like this that makes my heart explode.

Linking up with Mama Kat!

9 Months

Dear Meredith,
You are 9 months old now which is so hard to believe. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but this month was the most fun we've had with you. More than any other month I have seen your little personality shining through. You are developing a sense of humor and love to make us happy.



This month you cut your first tooth. It is so cute! This month you also perfected pulling yourself up on all sorts of things around the house. You love to stand and have even started moving between pieces of furniture. I can tell you are itching to walk! I'm excited to see your first steps, but also know that walking will dramatically change things!



You still aren't sleeping through the night. Every night as I fall asleep I wish a little wish that it'll be the night. I think you will soon, but I'm also not going to hold my breath! You are still nursing and I love the time it allows us to slow down and cuddle. I know I am going to be sad when the day to wean you comes. I don't think either one of us is ready yet.



You love my make up bag right now. I will sit it in front of you while I get ready for the day and I huge smile breaks across your face. You pull one item out at a time with a joy that only discovered hidden treasures could bring. You also love to dig in the dirt and leaves of our ficus tree. You are mesmerized by the washing machine, our space heater and everything in the bathroom. You haven't liked your stroller as much lately, but have enjoyed cuddling in the Ergo. You haven't enjoyed toys very much, either, choosing instead the objects in your environment to explore.

 

You are such a happy girl. This month someone stopped me in the grocery store and told me what a radiant baby you are and that you are straight from heaven. I couldn't agree more. Finally (it seems) you are laughing so easily. You love when I kiss your neck or when daddy raises you up above his head. When your daddy gets home from work each day you light up like fireworks on the fourth of July. You seriously couldn't be happier.

 


You bring me so much joy, little chicken. Even after the rough nights when you cry longer than I think either you or I can stand, when I see your smiley face in the morning I feel nothing but gratitude. When you wrap your arms around my neck and hold on so tight, I can't believe I've been so blessed with such a beautiful baby girl. Thank you for making my life so bright and for making us into a family.

With all my love,
Mama

Fresh Flowers

Nothing says spring like fresh flowers. It's amazing how much a vase of bright blooms cheers up my little house. For the past few weeks I've had flowers thanks to my mother-in-law who has dropped of dandelions and tulips. I really need to keep this up because it makes me so happy to see such bright splashes of color, especially right now when it's technically spring, but in reality not at all. One of my favorite flowers when planning my wedding was ranunculus and until recently I had completely forgot about them. They are so gorgeous. Now that my tulips are wilting, I think I'm going to hunt for some ranunculus. I have no idea how easy/hard they are to find, but I'll give it a go.

What are your favorite flowers?

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Newport, RI

Last Thursday night my little family took our first mini-vacation together. We priceline-d an affordable room and hit the road, headed for relaxation, ocean waves and some quality family time.





I loved not having to do any cooking or dishes. It was great to not make our bed or really do any cleaning. I enjoyed a family nap, take-out in our hotel bed and several family walks. Meredith had a whole new place to explore. It was the perfect overnight for the three of us.







My favorite part was the ocean. Man, I missed the ocean this winter. Something about crashing waves, light dancing on the water and smooth sand riddled with rocks and shells for as far as the eye can see. Puts me at peace, which is exactly what I've been lacking lately.









How about you? Are you an ocean person? Or would you prefer mountains? Or maybe even the mall?

Her 9th Month

Here's Meredith's 9th month video. Her 9 month letter is coming, but today has been one of those days that hasn't warranted letter writing. I can't believe my baby is 9 months old today. Time truly does fly.

Her 9th Month from Claire Traganos on Vimeo.

This weekend.

This weekend was a rollercoaster of emotions and events. I had what was probably my scariest mom moment so far. Meredith loves food. If one of us is eating, she has to partake in our meal. Saturday morning I made myself toast and eggs. I decided to give her a little nibble of my egg white, even though I knew it was one of those high risk allergy foods. She loved it, of course, but a few minutes later she started rubbing her eye. Right away her eye got red and puffy with some tiny little bumps. We gave her a bit of Benedryl and wiped her eye with a warm washcloth. This puffiness has happened before  (she has very sensitive, eczema-ridden skin) and always goes away quickly. And, as in the past, it cleared up very soon.

I laid her down for a nap soon after this. An hour later, she woke and I was nursing her when I noticed redness on her face, neck and chest. As I opened up her PJs, I quickly saw she was covered in big, red hives. Chris had left at this point and I went into freak out mode. I called the pediatrician who told me to give her more Benedryl and watch her carefully for vomiting or difficulty breathing.





The two of us were a hot mess- her skin getting redder and puffier by the minute and me unable to stop the tears from streaming down my face. I kept hugging her so tight, feeling so guilty for giving her a bite of egg. It took about two hours, but finally the hives subsided and she woke up with clear skin today. 

Throughout the weekend I was just, in general, in a bad mood. Meredith has been sleeping poorly because she has a bad cold on top of the hives. We had dinner guests Friday & Saturday night, which was super fun. Having people over for dinner is one of my favorite things, but it means extra work and later nights than usual. With a baby that still doesn't sleep through the night, that makes for a very tired mama. Because of this, I have been so irritable. People's twitter posts and facebook statuses and my husband just looking at me have all made me irrationally annoyed.

So, realizing I was in a bad way, I forced my butt out the door Sunday morning. I took Meredith on a walk around a local pond and listened to a podcast my the preacher at my parents' church. The fresh air and spiritual messages really helped me feel better.







Shopping afterward didn't hurt either.



Now that it's Sunday night and I got to enjoy a date night with the hubs, I am finally feeling a bit better. Hopefully it'll last the week.  How about you? Was your weekend what you hoped it would be?

rollercoaster image

Steppin' Out: 3/27

Tonight we dropped off the babe with her grandparents and stepped out on a date in Davis Sq. Chris wasn't feeling well so we opted for a low key dinner at Anna's Taqueria and dessert at J.P. Licks. We poked around a few little boutiques like Magpie, Davis Squared and Buffalo Exchange.  I have been irritable with a capital I these past few days, so it was nice to get out of the house sans baby and just enjoy some time as a couple.

a happy saturday to you.

I hope you are enjoying a restful, happy weekend. I have spent the morning deliriously exhausted and bursting with love. Two margaritas and a midnight bedtime do not go well with a sick baby that wakes up every hour and then decides to be up for the day at 6:30. But, as I've watched her crawl through the house and make discoveries of guitars, speakers and plastic bowls it hasn't mattered. And as she rested her head on my shoulder as we rocked and listened to my cheesy inspirational music, I just felt grateful. So between dinner guests last night and again tonight, I will be spending time cuddling my little sweet pea in hopes that she will finally feel all better.

this.

texas

I mentioned that I was visiting my parents' in Texas last week, but never gave you a good recap. It was a wonderful week. I loved every moment with my parents, sister and grandparents. Meredith was a happy, sweet baby and enjoyed all the extra attention. I couldn't have been happier to be in 70 and 80 degree weather and even came home with a few extra freckles. I was sad to leave, but grateful for more memories with my family. Here are some snapshots of the week!

What's for dinner?

This week I am trying some new recipes. Last night we had a yummy quinoa meal chock full of peas, asparagus, tomatoes and shrimp. I'd highly recommend it, but be sure to add a baguette or salad because on its own, it left us a bit unsatisfied.



Tonight, I am making a curry for the first time. I am using this recipe. I hope it's tasty!



What are you having for dinner? Make anything good lately? Please share because I'm always looking for a delicious dinner :)

post edit: the curry was delicious! highly recommend it. and not only did i enjoy eating it, but cooking it too. the only downside is that our house smells very strongly of curry now!

Happy Spring!

Happy Spring! To celebrate the arrival of spring weather on Friday, we took Meredith to the park for the first time. I was most excited to put her in the swing and she loved it even more than I would've guessed! She went in the swing, on the merry-go-round, attempted the see-saw and generally, enjoyed "running" around the playground with us. After playing in the park, we had a family picnic. We couldn't help but stare in awe of our little baby who sat up and shared a meal with us. Just a few short months ago, she was swaddled and sleeping through our late summer picnics. 

And while the weather is back to feeling winter like, this past Friday gave me hope that spring is on it's way and a glimpse of the fun we will have when warm weather comes to stay.

Happy Spring!

a happy saturday to you.

the three little pieces of my perfect little family are back together after a week apart. i am sitting at my dining room table with an empty bowl of cereal and a hot mug of coffee, listening to music that makes me feel happy. daddy took baby walking at the mall so i could sleep in and now my two loves are back to sleep for a late morning nap. 

i was so dreading my return to boston. instead i wanted to bury myself in the cozy guest room bed at my parents' house and never leave. but, leave we did. and of course i cried. and of course i still feel like a chunk of me is far, far away. but, then, my little family makes me feel whole at the same time, somehow. 

i hope you have a weekend that makes you feel whole- with friends or family or a yummy cup of coffee.

An Ode to Breastfeeding

Ode to the time I can stop and soak up the view

Praise be the time I can cuddle with my babe

Now that she's on the move 

And doesn't want my aid

Ode to the ability to provide

Both comfort and calories

So baby will thrive

 

Ode to the way I can really eat for two

Praise be the whoopie pie 

I can devour and then still

Weigh less by pounds a few

Ode to all mothers who care for their babes

Through breast or through bottle 

I just feel grateful for calories burned and monies saved

Mostly the sweet time I get with my girl