So, lately, it seems like between the blogging world and my real life friends & acquaintances, there are loads of baby #2's on the way. For a long, long time I've said I want my babies about two and a half years apart. These pregnancy announcements have been sending me into freak out mode. Is Meredith going to be too old for her sibling?? Will they even, ever be friends?? We've already missed the 18 month separation mark (since she'll be 18 months in under two weeks!) so I suppose there's no point in fretting about it. On the one hand it feels so soon to be thinking about getting pregnant again, but on the other I feel the time atickin'.
I guess I'm just wondering: if you have children, what age separation do you like? If you don't, how long do you imagine you'll wait between babies?
5 comments:
I'm in the same boat as you and part of me is starting to feel more and more "ready" to throw my hat back in the ring, but the other is kinda afraid! I always ask ANYONE with multiple children how they liked the spacing of them and they fell all across the spectrum and the general consensus seems to be that the spacing isn't as important as the kids and the parenting. Every child is different and every family is different and I truly believe that it's not the age that is the ultimate important thing, but the kid's personalities & the family dynamic that encourages the friendship.
Also, it's hard to know how to put this, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cameron sooooooooooo much, than my mind can't even get wrapped around the concept of loving another human like I love him! I know that it just comes, just like it did with him, but I already feel guilty over it and I'm not even pregnant!
When my son, J, was 9 or 10 months old (and finally sleeping through the night), I started feeling like I was ready for #2. But I was so concerned about how J would feel having a new baby around and sharing his parents. My sister and I are only 12 months apart and she was a very sick baby. I obviously don't remember when she was born, but now that I am a mom and know how much work and attention babies/toddlers require, I can't help but wonder if I felt neglected when my sister was born. I never want J to feel that way!! On the other hand, my sister and I were/are very close!!
I started asking other parents when they knew they were ready for #2 and what age difference they felt was the best. Everyone has their own opinion and basically, it's what is best for your family! For me, the universe must've taken my questions as a sign because I became pregnant!! After the initial shock, I am thrilled. We are having another boy which is so awesome because they will be 19 months apart and hopefully best buds! I'm sure there will be hard days and weeks, but I'm looking forward to seeing them grow up together! My aunt, whose children are 20 months apart, told me her 2nd child was the best present she ever gave her 1st child!! I love that thought!!
Good luck with your decision!
I don't think there's actually a "correct" answer and everyone seems to have a different opinion. I know people who insist the shorter the gap the better... I know someone who is 3 months pregnant and has a 6 month old son! Personally, I'd never manage that, and I feel that I owe it to Emily to be able to cope with my choice.
We are hoping to have baby #2 by the time she's almost 3. For me, that means that I'd have dedicated that much time to Emily, and also be able to dedicate a good amount of time to the new baby as E will be in nursery by then.
I grew up the eldest of 5 and felt very much like I didn't have the amount of attention I needed and that is always my driving force in my decision x
We are shooting for a 5 year gap between Blaine and baby #2. It is the gap I grew up with and hubby had a 4 year gap. We both really liked it. In fact, if my sister had gone to high school at the same time as me, someone would have died. We are THAT competitive about grades and sports. Our 5 year gap saved some major hate. And yes even though I always hear 5 years is "too much" and they "wont be friends" etc, it is not true.
That being said, I AM INSANELY JEALOUS EVERYTIME SOMEONE ANNOUNCES THEIR PREGNANCY. Like a pit in my stomach, almost crying. Don't know why, must be a mother instinct thing. I know my child and I know myself and THERE IS NO WAY IN H*LL I COULD HANDLE ANOTHER BABY RIGHT NOW! He still screams bloody murder when you: wash dishes, have him ride in his carseat, have him sit in a stroller, have him sit in a high chair, put socks on him, put any clothes on him, give him the wrong object when he is pointing to something, etc. He has never once slept all night long. He has not made parenting a breeze and somedays I even wonder if I should just stop with baby #1.
I don't have children yet, so I'm not the best person to weigh in on this subject. But I think you have to do what feels right for you, and don't stress about timing. I'm an only child, but I have always had a close relationship with two of my cousins, who are 5 and 10 years younger than me. My point being that age difference isn't necessarily a huge factor in relationships/friendships. It's all about having a happy, loving family that nurtures healthy connections with one another. You guys seem like the sweetest, cutest family ever, so don't worry about it too much! :)
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